Here is the kind of conversation I seem to have a lot, even just recently on a blind date. It must be in some sort of ‘book’ because I’ve heard it before; “you should court me, pay for things, protect me, and eventually provide for me everything I need and protect me with your life”. Great I say, I get it. What do YOU do? Um, well I make you into a better man. And I always reply “I’m a better man than you could ever be or conceive of. If that is ‘all’ you’ve got how about you provide for me and protect me with your life and I’ll make you into a better woman”. Ridiculous they say, no s*** I say :|
I had a woman interested in me last year and her approach was basically “I am interested in you, court me” and I kept saying ‘no, court me.’. She thought I was crazy. Now I didn’t mean take me to dinner and buy me roses. I meant; show me a reason I SHOULD court you, show me a reason I should want you in my life, show me how having you in my life would make providing for and protecting you not an obligation but the joy of my life. I don’t want to explain that though. I told the one woman I did love once ‘true love is when you realize that ‘I’d climb the highest mountain or swim the deepest ocean to make you happy’ isn’t corny poetry it is just a simple and stark realization a man comes to once in his life about a woman’.
I end up getting into ‘trouble’ all the time because I advise single women who sit around talking about all the things men must and should do to be with them that if they just spend the same amount of time figuring out what it is they can and should bring to men, they’d get all those things without a word needed. Take paying for dinner; it makes us feel good, strong, needed and masculine to do so. Now I now somehow the concept of feeling ‘masculine’ (outside of a woman needing you to be masculine) is ridiculed yet I always said that (for the same aforementioned woman) she made me feel so appreciated when I did take her out (because she actually APPRECIATED the gesture was made to her as a lady) I could not wait for her to be hungry again.
Does this mean (as some female friends suggested) that she was ‘manipulative’? No more so then I was by wanting to take her out and please her. Yet my female friends wonder why when they say ‘thank you’ (if they do) for dinners the way American Express does (as if it was a debt being paid) they don’t get asked out again and I explain the above to them and they scoff.
Needless to say you have your work cut out for you but I am glad you are doing it :)